How Do I Navigate My Life Being Married to a Non-Believer?

This was a question asked to our Titus 2 women this week. Scroll down to see how they answered this question. Have a question for our Titus 2 panel? Click the button below to ask- scroll until you see the form!

Bethany~

How do I navigate my life being married to a non-believer?

— 1 Peter 3:1, 2, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”

…. The context of this passage gives insight into the answer to the above question. The whole of 1 Peter provides a lot of guidance for the Christian walk. Beginning chapter three is the word “likewise”. Meaning ‘in the same way’… we do what Jesus did. There’s no greater example. 

…. How did Jesus treat unbelievers? That would be a good Bible study for you to do as you seek his wisdom in this. Ultimately, we as Christians are called to live in a way that points others to Christ. There are many Scriptures that speak on this, such as:

— Matthew 5:14-16, “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

— Titus 3:4-8, “But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.”

— 1 Peter 2:11, 12, “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.”

— 1 Peter 1:13-16, “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”

— 1 Timothy 4:10-12, “For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe. These things command and teach. Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity”

…. Back to our opening Scripture - 1 Peter 3:1, 2, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” 

— 1 Peter 3:15, 16, “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.”

…. “If any obey not the word”… wives still are commanded to be in subjection to (‘to be under’) their husbands and behave chastely (‘innocent, modest, clean, pure’) to win their man to the LORD. 

…. Read the rest of 1 Peter chapter three - the whole book! - for more direction. “Having compassion one of another” … “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” … “sanctify the Lord God in your hearts” … “For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.”

…. Study the Scriptures for how a good wife ought to be (see Proverbs 31 and Ephesians 5 for starters) and then put it into practice, because you want to please God. Trust in God, that he will work this for your good. Put in the work and sacrifice it takes to build your home, to make it a safe haven for your husband and children. Be intentional. Pray fervently for your husband. Show him the example that he needs to see of a Christian living their faith and fear of God in love, compassion and gentleness. When you make a mistake, perhaps you get upset with him or something, be humble and ask his forgiveness. Focus on your relationship with the LORD, making what changes you need to in your own life instead of trying to “fix” or “teach” your husband, and let God do the rest.

— Proverbs 14:1, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

— Proverbs 3:5-7, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”

…. In practical terms, your Christian walk may be difficult to live out when your husband is not on the same path. Maybe he doesn’t want you going to church. Maybe he wants you to dress in an immodest way or do things that are against your conscience. Maybe he’d prefer you to not teach your faith to your children. Maybe he would rather you not fellowship with Godly friends, or read your Bible, or listen to gospel music. Maybe his speech is grieving your spirit, or things he engages in or the friends he hangs out with. Maybe he thinks that you think you’re better than him. These things will be hard to navigate and how you respond to them is very important. That’s why it’s crucial that you have a good relationship with the LORD, so that you can follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance in all this. He will help you bite your tongue when needed or do an act of kindness or extend forgiveness or know how to pray, how to love your husband. May God bless your desire to live for him!

— Romans 15:13, “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”?